no more negative vibes

it is true. God truly has a way of shifting things around and moving your life. i can attest to that. there are times when circumstances make me feel bitterness, although in my mind i really want to feel happiness for others. there are times when my self-confidence have almost gone down the drain. times when i felt that i gave everything i've got, and got zilch in return. these are the moments when i ask myself "am i good enough?"

aside from sending me friends & family, God has sent me helpful strangers who eventually became new friends. then it would seem that the universe is aligning itself correctly and everything just falls into place. and then you realize, everything that gave you those negative emotions - frustration, sadness, losing heart - are actually blessings in disguise. and something more amazing is waiting for you. all you have to do is say "God will provide" and hang on to Him until the storm is over.

as what Mr. Rocky Balboa said, "It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!" 

no more negative vibes! SMILE EVERYONE!

what's stopping you?

"What is the first - perhaps the only - difference between living your dream and stagnating? The fundamental difference is fear. Fear of losing it all; fear of what another might think; fear of being less than enough."

i read this in an article from urbanmonk.net. this simple statement actually hit home.

eversince i was in college, i had bouts of uncertainty. what if i took liberal arts in college? what if i became a professional musician? what if i went into advertising? what if i became a wedding planner/event coordinator? what if i took fashion design instead? what if i worked for a fashion magazine?

a lot of what if's, right? although through the years, i have slowly found appreciation for my "craft"/work. but of course there are still times when these what if's play with my head.

so why did i continue with IT? 

everyone can feel fear. but out of the three fears stated at the beginning of this blog, i guess i could relate most to the third - fear of being less than enough. at first i thought it was fear that my earnings would dwindle drastically since i would have to start from scratch. but i realized that that's not the main reason. no matter what i do, a part of me always wants to prove myself. to prove my worth. to prove that i'm good at what i do. and since the education/training that i got is for IT, then i guess i stuck with it instead of doing something that really interests me yet i have no background/experience at all.

so yes, i have fear of being incompetent. and i haven't realized it until a few months ago. as the article said, "fear is obvious when someone holds a gun to our head, but it is harder to recognize in our everyday lives." and this "everyday life fear" is not just about one's career. it can be about a college student's choice of course. it can be about trying out for your school play. about asking someone out on a date. about traveling to a different country. or even about deciding to take culinary classes.

so what does the author think we should do?

he says we should face and take a closer look at our fears. "when we lay bare our fears, when we examine them with an honest and courageous eye - what we find are not limitations. what we find are alibis. sometimes these are unconscious. they stem from events, insults, and harsh judgements that we have taken to heart."

the article suggests a method which is pretty similar to what i do when i need to make a big decision: COST AND BENEFIT ANALYSIS (i prefer doing the PROS and CONS given the different choices)

COSTS: what is the price you pay for your decision? does it make you unhappy? what would happen 5 to 10 yrs from now if you continued your current path?

BENEFITS: what are the perks that you get with this path? support and approval from friends and family? is it less troublesome to just continue?

from there you can see the bigger picture, and it makes you more objective.  we then acknowledge the fear and take action - which, of course, is still entirely you're decision; whether the BENEFITS outweigh the COSTS and vice versa and depending on your priorities. i believe that priorities of single and married people are totally different. so ultimately, it all boils down to you. as the article said, "our purpose is our own; life is asking and we answer".

let's all get together!

2011 seems to be a year of reunions for me.


first, our clan had our 4th Kimpo International Reunion which happens every 3 years. Our family consists of 6 generations, starting with my great great grandparents. relatives from across the country and over the world went to Kalibo, Aklan, just in time for the Ati-Atihan festival.


so here's to give you an idea how big our reunion is:


the 1st generation is lolo juan and lola ganday, who had 7 children (2nd generation). these 7 children make-up the current "7 families" of the Kimpo clan and each family has their respective family color. these 7 children had so and so number of children (3rd generation, which includes my grandparents), and these children and so and so number of children (4th generation), and these children had so and so number of children (5th generation - myself included), and some 5th generation-ers already have their own children (6th generation). whew!


can't wait for the next reunion!

this photo has one generation only haha!

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE. one of my bestfriends from DLSU Pops Orchestra has been diagnosed with a tough sickness. so my friends and i are doing all we can to help. this led to being in contact with old friends from Pops, friends that i haven't talked to in years! Pops peeps have been my good friends during my college years. they kept me sane. i'm with them everyday. i even stayed longer in the bandroom than in gox (our Computer Science building) that's why i don't know a lot of my comsci batchmates haha! but once everyone started working, i only got to keep in touch with a few of them.

speaking of my friend, please pray for his fast recovery. his sickness is tough, but he is tougher. FIGHT!


hope i'll be able to keep in touch with more family & friends & relatives :)

oh no! it's christmas! =S

i always get excited when christmas is around the corner. i love the lights, the decorations, the christmas shopping (especially christmas shopping!), the cold wind, and hot coffee (with a splash of peppermint please). i love santa claus! i love christmas songs! i love the christmas spirit!

however, there's one thing i don't look forward to during christmas -- getting interviewed by relatives. by aunties and lolas, specifically. for the past christmases, there have always been questions about my "status". 

"o ano, wala ka pa bang ipapakilala?", they ask. 

why can't they ask "o, kumusta na ka na ba? kumusta ang trabaho? ok ka ba dun sa condo?" instead?

at one point, i told them that i'm ok with not being married ever. and i think that made them go to panic mode. hahaha!

"nako hija, wag mong sasabihin yan!!" 

"don't nip it in the bud! malay mo baka may cute friend, diba?" 

sigh.

don't get me wrong. i didn't say i don't want to get married. of course i do, someday. maybe. i'm just saying that i'm ok not being married either. hay naku. the pressure. mygaaahd. if they want cute little kids, i have other cousins who would do that hahaha! i don't get it why most people see not being married as something bad. even scary.

but anyway, that's about it. everything else about christmas, i absolutely LOVE!

eto na, i can feel the Christmas spirit already!

pass the cheer everyone! :D

oh yea, this is my PC wallpaper. o diba?! :D

ala'y nakauwi rin!

(note: "ala'y" is how real batangueños pronounce "ala eh". pronouncing it as "ala eh" sounds fake.)

this sounds weird coming from me -- the city-loving, trying-to-be-independent little lady who wanted so much to live in the metropolis on her own. but yea, i sooo looked forward to going home to the province last sunday. (what?!) i think it has been 2 months since the last time i went home.

i miss our house. i miss sleeping in my little violet room. i miss my lovely baby blue and gold bathroom with shower heater (heheheaven!). i miss our kitchen. i miss our TV. i miss our very comfy couch. i miss our kitchen countertop. i miss my parents' and brother's rooms. but i think, i really miss THEM. (cheesy, i know. eww. haha!)

when my dad & i arrived home at 4am, i was touched to see my room spic-and-span. as in the curtains newly washed. the floor vacuumed. new bedsheet and blanket and pillow cases. ang sarap matulog! when i woke up, mom made us her new breakfast recipe (which i shall keep a secret for now since we might just launch it in sizzlers' blends eventually, wahoo!)

then my bro & my mom & i hung out at my brother's room. just making chika and catching up and laughing like crazy people. oh yea! my brother will be graduating from highschool this month. wahoo! his graduation will fall on a friday, and my dad was like "ate, ikaw muna sa sizzlers' ha." and i was starting to complain coz he's going to make me miss work. then my brother said "wala ka sa grad ko ate? wag nalang. dapat complete." and i was thinking... 'it's your brother's graduation and you're not freaking going? what are you thinking?' so ok. i'm going, i'm going! then he'll be living in QC in a couple of months. ngyaha! i think we're going to hang out more often. he's already telling me that he'll be staying in my place once in a while. actually, he wants to stay there on fridays. (and i go, "not every friday ha!" haha!) basta dapat may dala syang allowance. kung hindi yari ang sweldo ko haha! lagi pa naman yun humihirit ng starbucks and restaurants "na wala sa lipa". and i always give in. hayayay!

for the past few days, i haven't been all jolly and gay. some of my unfortunate friends (who i have ranted to. thank you for bearing with me, btw.) know that. so it feels good to just be with my family again. after weeks of fending for yourself, ang sarap pala na may nagluluto para sayo haha (lalo na pag nag-aral pa sa culinary school yung nagluto. o ha!)

image from zainulabidin.files.wordpress.com

ready, set, go!

there had been a bit of a change in this little lady's teeny life (not without a wee bit of drama, of course. but that's another story). i think i should get ready for adventures ahead - may it be trying out a new resto, memorizing the whole of megamall, going out with friends, or getting lost in ortigas. i already started today, actually!

1. went to Mass in my new favorite church.

2. tried chef choi for lunch.

3. tried cocktales (yes, it's spelled that way) for my snack.

4. looked for (and found) the megamall exit closest to my house.

5. finished reading a 135-page short story in 2 hours without the lights on.

i wonder what's next?

pass the cheer!

it's funny, but i always look forward to Starbucks releasing their red cups for the year. it makes me giddy and excited for the christmas season, just like a little girl. the coffee tastes the same, but there's an additional sprinkle of christmas spirit :) (plus the christmas flavors, of course) and it's finally here yeah!

it makes me think of white christmases and cozy fireplaces and huge stockings and santa and family and relatives and friends. wah, it's been years since i've had a white christmas. gusto ko ulit haha! 

oh! and decorating our house! it has always been fun :D remember, i even took photos of our decorations last year. i wonder what motif would my mom like this year? we've had gold, violet, pink, white/crystal-y, orange and red. hmmm... i think my brother likes blue for this year though. 

oh, and christmas shopping of course. it has been my yearly super-therapy. i love splurging and buying gifts for my family and shopping alone for hours, going through every aisle to find the perfect gift. i remember giving dad funds for his leather carseat covers and car tint (he needs the cash more than clothes or shoes). then i got mom a pair of sophisticated aerosoles (she wears them during meetings haha! and those are the only heeled shoes that she wears.) and a swivel chair for my brother (i stopped giving him drummer stuff. saka nalang when he's interested to be a drummer again). toys/clothes for my nephews and godchildren too :) and yummy-scented lotion for my tita. hmm what would i get them this year? naku! eh it'll be my parents' birthday on december (dad's 50th pa). and my their 25th anniversary on january. woohhhhh! kelangan mag-ipon nang bonggang bongga!

ok... see where my thoughts are going? and just because of one red cup of toffee nut latte :) 

tis the season to be jolly! merry berry christmas everyone! pass the cheer!

dad's early birthday present

a pair of dark brown olivia crocs!

(image from www.crocs.com)

i just love its shape and the little sparkly jewel on the strap. i can pair it up with slacks, jeans, or even with dresses. and it's soooo light and comfy, i could wear it the whole day. woot! i used to wear heels while having a 10-minute walk going to the mrt station... and then standing in the crowded mrt until i get to buendia. oh lord... now it'll be easier to commute when going to the office :D

thanks papa!